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thepestiferouscomedi:

theunpaidintern:

timothydelaghetto:

see, ladies!? your fairytale boys are just like the rest of em!!! lol

NOW HOLD ON JUST A DIDDLY DARN MINUTE AND LET ME TELL YOU WHY THIS IS INCORRECT

  • BECAUSE ALADDIN LIVED ON THE STREETS, HE HAD TO LIE HIS WAY THROUGH TO SURVIVE. HE’S NOT DOING IT JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT. ALSO HE LIED TO JASMINE BECAUSE HE WANTED TO IMPRESS HER AND IF YOU HAVE NEVER SAID A LIE TO YOUR CRUSH BECAUSE YOU WANT THEM TO LIKE YOU THEN YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE AND WANTED SOMEONE THAT BADLY.
  • THE BEAST IS DOWNRIGHT BITTER BECAUSE LOOK AT ALL THE SHIT HE’S BEEN PUT THROUGH. A CURSE FOR 10 YEARS AS A MONSTER AND EVERYONE HATES HIM SO HE LIVES IN EXILE WITH ALL OF HIS SERVANTS THAT ARE NOW OBJECTS. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS BECAUSE HE WAS A SPOILED BRAT AS A KID (WHICH IS WHY HE GOT THE SPELL IN THE FIRST PLACE). HE IS LONELY, RESENTFUL, AND LEARNS TO BE KIND ONCE BELLE COMES IN.
  • PRINCE CHARMING DIDN’T WANT THAT KIND OF WIFE. WHEN HE’S MEETING THE GIRLS, HE YAWNS BECAUSE HE IS BORED AND TIRED OF ALL THE GIRLS BEING THE SAME. HE DOESN’T WANT THIS. HE DON’T NEED NO GIRL UNTIL CINDERELLA STRUTS HER FABULOUS ASS IN AND HE IS AWESTRUCK BY HOW GENUINE SHE IS.
  • WHAT THE FRICK WHO EVER SAID THE PRINCE WAS A SOMNOPHILIAC HE KNEW HE HAD TO WAKE HER UP BY TRUE LOVE’S KISS. IT’S IN ALL FAIRY TALES THAT’S HOW YOU BREAK A SPELL. HE WASN’T THINKING “YO MAN THIS UNCONSCIOUS GIRL IS SO HOT” NO HE WANTED TO WAKE HER UP AND THAT’S HOW IT HAD TO BE.
  • ERIC IS THE SAME AS PRINCE CHARMING - HE’S PROBABLY SICK OF ALL THE HIGH END GIRLS BEING THE SAME AND WANTS SOMEONE ADVENTUROUS AND DIFFERENT AS HIM. THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH WAITING FOR THE RIGHT ONE.
  • SHANG WAS LIED TO. WOMEN IN THAT TIME PERIOD WERE NOT ALLOWED TO FIGHT. IT’S STILL THAT WAY TODAY. MULAN LIED TO HIM ABOUT HER GENDER. EVEN THOUGH IT WAS FOR A GOOD INTENTION, IF THE EMPEROR HAD FOUND OUT EARLIER THAT SHANG LET A WOMAN FIGHT, HE WOULD HAVE BEEN IN HUGE TROUBLE.
  • SIMBA DIDN’T GROW UP IN ROYALTY. HE ACTUALLY GREW UP VERY SPOILED BY TIMON AND PUMBA BECAUSE HAKUNA MATTATA AND WHATNOT. ALSO, HE WAS AFRAID THAT HE WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO FILL HIS FATHER’S SHOES BECAUSE LET’S FACE IT MUFASA WAS A KICKASS KING. HE SOON REALIZES LATER ON IN THE MOVIE THAT IT IS HIS RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE HIS FATHER’S PLACE AS KING. 
  • IT WAS JOHN SMITH’S JOB TO FIND THE NEW WORLD. THEY WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO SHOW MERCY TO THE NATIVES BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO CLAIM THAT LAND FOR ENGLAND. THAT’S USUALLY HOW HISTORY WORKS. 
  • PETER PAN DID NOT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH TINKER BELL WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU
  • PEGASUS WAS ACTUALLY TRYING TO PULL HERCULES AWAY FROM MEG. HE WAS JUST FOLLOWING “BROS BEFORE HOES”. PEGASUS ACTUALLY GOT JEALOUS OF MEG BECAUSE HERCULES WAS STARTING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH HER. AND PEGASUS IS NOT HIS RIDE. HE WAS A GIFT TO HERCULES AS A BABY AND THEY ARE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS SO OF COURSE PEGASUS IS GOING TO BE PROTECTIVE OVER HERCULES.

WOW IT’S ACTUALLY POSSIBLE THAT NOT EVERY MALE IS AN ASSHOLE SO WATCH THE MOVIES AND UNDERSTAND THEIR SITUATION BEFORE YOU PASS JUDGMENT.

I think you kind of saved this post from being misandristic.

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